Something that can hold us back are limiting beliefs. A limiting belief is a false or negative idea. An opinion or conviction that we accept as a truth. These can restrict us from working towards our goals, taking risks, and thus reaching our full potential. These are self-imposed barriers effectively shaping our own reality. This type of thinking influences our perceptions and the way we seek or handle a challenge.
Some key characteristics of limiting beliefs:
• Subjective – Usually based on feelings or interpretations of a situation. Often not based on actual facts or evidence.
• Unconscious – Something sitting beneath conscious awareness, making them difficult to identify without reflection.
• Originate in past experiences – Might even be from a very young age when we may not be ready to correctly read the situation or outcome. Negative or past events may prevent us going forward. We may regard a limiting belief as a defence mechanism to avoid future pain, failure, or social embarrassment.
• Self-fulfilling prophecies – Our thinking can imitate reality. Believing in a limitation can lead us to unconsciously act in ways that make the belief come true, reinforcing the original idea. “I can’t,” “I’m not,” or “I don’t have enough”.
Common Examples:
Limiting beliefs can often be internal self-talk using phrases like…
• “I’m not very smart because I didn’t do well at school”.
• “I’m too old/young to apply for that job”.
• “The financial market isn’t big enough for me to have my share”.
• “I don’t deserve success or love because of my past break-up”.
• “I’m not a good networker because I’m so shy”.
• “Don’t be such an imposter, you can’t be a public speaker”.
These beliefs can hold people back in their professional careers, in relationships and from achieving their goals. They can create anxiety, and fear of failure. Can cause us to procrastinate or simply give up.
Understanding what might be a limiting belief for you is the first step toward overcoming them, or even ignoring them because they’re untrue.
There is a great deal of literature on the power of positive thinking and positive visualisation. And there are plenty of successful people. I can bet not all of these people were successful the first time. What successful people do have in common is the ability to see a goal and go for it.
Even if some of these limiting beliefs do hold some truth, back yourself, don’t live in the past, focus on the future. If you visualise and plan for success you have a far better chance of achieving it.
(Excerpt from a session between members of the Independent Board facilitated by Lijlanie Viljoen – From ‘Dignified – Mediation and divorce settlements’)